Last moments of a thief

As I lay in my bed, eyes staring upwards into the semi darkness, gradually getting accustomed to the semi darkness, I could make out a faint silhouette of my old, rickety chair, the only piece of furniture in this shack I called a room. I groped for my torchlight beside my matress and pointed it in the direction of the clock.It was 6. am; a new day had begun. I could hear the faint rustle of leaves as the birds chirped to signal the resumption of a daily routine of nest building. I could hear my neighbours stirring to activity in preparation for a new day.

I rose up lazily, picked up my old bristly toothbrush, rubbed some salt on the wellworn bristles, went outside to brush my teeth. I came in afterwards, picked up my iron bucket, went to the water tap that served the whole compound,fetched some water with which I took my bath.

I threw my threadbare shirt over my back, slipped into my worn out trousers, slipped my feet into sandals that had seen better days.

I stood at my doorsteps, looked ahead, not looking at anything in particular. I just stared into space; the tears welled up in my eyes because all I could see around me was wretchedness. The future looked bleak, all I could see was poverty all around me. I had nothing to look forward to.

I flicked the tears away with my bony wrists and trudged out.

With no destination in mind, I approached the market place. "Phil", I turned as I heard my name. I saw my friend John, running toward me. There was this look he had on his face, the look of a man who had just struck gold. He took me aside and led me into a secluded place. Looking sneakily from left to right to see if anyone else was there. Seeing none, he reached into his underpants and brought out something. "Oh my!" I screamed below my breath. "A gun!' He hushed me.

"I want you to accompany me somehwere", he said. I obliged.

We trudged along until we arrived at a neighbourhood. We approached a house in that neighbourhood. John signalled for me to wait outside for him. He went in.

One minute,two minutes,5 minutes........

Thief! Thief! Thief! I heard the screams coming from inside the house. I saw John spring out with the speed of a bullet from the house."What the... He whistled past me before I could say a word. I was in a daze, transfixed to the spot. Before I could gather my wits together, I saw the mob advancing toward me with matchetes, wielding big sticks and clubs. I could see the anger, I could see the hatred in their eyes, I could feel it seeping through their pores. I could see that they were hungry for blood. I tried to run but it was too late. The angry crowd had closed in on me. Blows descended on me. I could feel sticks, matchetes and clubs punding on my head, neck chest, awwww! my legs...

I looked around for a way to escape, I saw none. I could feel my own blood flowingfreely down my face, into my mouth, all over my body. I was in so much pain.

"Burn him", I heard a voice say. Out of nowhere, tyres appeared, they were put around my writhing body.

"Petrol please", I heard another voice ask. I felt a cold liquid poured all over me, I could see someone strike a match.

In that split second, my whole life flashed before me; I could see my mother on her deathbed, asking me to stay off bad freinds. "Bad friends corrupt good manners, my son", I could hear her saying. I could see myself as a child, playing happily with not a care in the world.

Suddenly, the air smelled fresher, the grass looked greener, I became very aware of my surroundings and alas, I knew I wanted to live. I tried to spring up and run but it was too late.

I was enveloped by flames, I tried to free myself but I was too weak to help myself. The heat was unbearable. The flames leaped and licked at me with increasing ferocity, searing my flesh. In that instant, I knew the end had come. I felt a numbness creep up on me even in the intense heat. Gradually, the noises were fading, my eyes dimmed as a very heavy sleep took me over then all I could see was darkness, darkness, darkness...

I'm letting go

Looking back

sweet memories

of you and I together.

You were my hero

and I was

your sweetest heart

I loved you

with all my being

I thought you felt the same way too

but no,

I was wrong.

Your touch

your kiss

the way you made me feel

Oh baby,it is all

coming back to me

my nights are cold

my days are lonely

cos' there is no longer

you in my life

I toss

I turn

I scream

cos' the pain is so intense

Fighting the urge

to pick up my phone

and call you

just to tell you

that I am

still in love with you

everytime you come around

the tension is so thick

I could cut it with a knife

but baby

the bitter truth is

I GOT TO LET YOU GO.

I Love you, you just do not know it...

Days are lonely, nights are cold,

night after night

I wish I were lying in your arms

When the nights get stormy,

and the raindrops pelt on my window

I wet my pillow with my tears

wishing we could be together,

cos' you are not here with me

loved you right from time

but you just do not know

so many things I need to say to you

but I'm scared of rejection

nobody loves being rejected;

by the one they love, especially.

Sometimes, I wonder

do you ever think of me?

So many questions,

so many things that may be left unsaid

You are all I have ever dreamed for

and more...

Like they say

time will tell...

but for now...

Memories...

Finally got round to doing this. Laziness is a sin,I swear!!!

You know, it is advisable to always at one point in life take stock of our lives. It makes us to know where we have gone wrong and what areas in our lives need amendment.

There is no telling the power of pictures of the past. If you looked more carefully,you would know exactly at what point you started going haywire!
Last night, I was going through my old pictures,old diaries,write-ups,little notes and love letters. I discovered that I could draw the line between when I was reeking of innocence and now that I do not even understand my life anymore!

Not that it is a mess now, but hey! sometimes I just feel like throwing caution to the winds,forget my "reputation"(one I have worked hard to build), drop all the formings and go back to the sweet, innocent girl I used to be. Old stuff like that have a way of evoking strong emotions within you. As I looked at some of the pictures, I laughed and also, some of them made me break down in tears.

There are times I wish I were an innocent 5 year old again,oblivious of the harsh realities of life.At times like that,I just crawl into a corner and weep.
All hope is not lost,though. I know that somewhere, within this tough, sophisticated exterior,there still exists that sweet, innocent girl full of sunny smiles!

Lost Opportunities- what might have been.

Finally got around to doing this. I am sure at one point in life, there, must have been that special somebody you have had a crush on. Some times it works out, sometimes it doesn’t and that is what I want to blog about. I have never told this aspect of my growing up to anybody but I think the time is ripe to let go of what needs to be let go of. Happy reading. I was 16 years old, he was 24 years old. I had known him since I was 12 years old when I accompanied my mum on a vacation to his home country. We lodged at their family house (they are friends of my family).
I used to have this huge crush on him at that age but it remained what it was- a crush. He never saw me as a girl “he could date” cos I was obviously very young. I did not complain at all, I took delight in just watching him. I would watch him when we were watching movies in the living room. Rather that watch the movie on display, I would content myself just watching him and wishing he were my boyfriend. OH! How I hated myself for being a kid.
All’s well that ends well. Our vacation finally came to an end and we came back home to Nigeria. The years went by and by the time I had gone back to his home country for another vacation after my S.S.C.E; I was a “big girl”. I went there to spend the one year wait before going into the university.

One day as I was cleaning my mum’s friend’s settee, I heard a cough behind me. I straightened and looked to see who it was and who did I see? My childhood crush. He practically raked me with his eyes. He said,” what a big girl you have turned out to be, and a beautiful one, too.” I was flattered, to say the least but I managed to say thank you. He told me he had moved out of the house and was living on his won, he had found a job and that he just came to drop some stuff for his mother. He left with a promise to show me around during the weekend.
He took me out that weekend and that was the beginning of a good friendship. We were so close that he could tell me anything and I , him(except my feelings, of course).

We felt comfortable in each other’s company. It really used to cave me in when he told me how badly his girl was treating him, I even witnessed it on some occasions. I kept wishing he would see beyond his nose and notice me- in the way I wanted him to.

Somehow, word filtered to his mother (my mum’s friend) that we were too close for comfort. She called me and instilled some fear in me, that I was too young for relationships and that I should face my studies first of all. Need I say from that day, I avoided him like a plague.

At last, I gained admission into the university and so it was time for me to go home. I was happy and sad at the same time. Happy because I was starting school, sad, because I was leaving him and did not know when I would be back, that is, if I would ever be back there.
Back home, while I was unpacking my stuff, I noticed a small note with a note saying “CALL ME WHEN YOU GET THIS “ with a number scribbled on it and it was from him. I made a mental note to call him but somehow, it skipped my memory.(I did not have a mobile phone then to store the number) and so somehow, that note got missing.

Four years later, one degree later, I was observing my siesta when I was awakened by my phone ringing. I picked it up and checked the ID, it said unknown. I picked the call and after the usual greetings, I asked who was on the line. The voice was a male voice and he responded, PETER. I asked, “Which Peter is this”? and he confirmed the one I thought it was. I asked him how he got my number and he told me he collected it from one of my friends there. He told me he was calling to invite me for his wedding! I felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach. I could not utter a word for a long while. He said,”When you did not call me after all these years, I assumed you had moved on and did not want to have anything to do with me, it was painful for me, but I had to move on.” I did not know what to say. Somehow, we got through the conversation.
We kept in touch and the wedding came and went. There was no need for me to cry over spilt milk, life goes on, or so I thought. A few days ago, I received a call from him and he was telling me how much he regrets marrying who he married, how he married because there was so much pressure on him to get married so he just got the nearest available girl and married her. I felt bad too, but I told him there was nothing I could do about the situation. I told him to live with it because marriage is a lifetime thing. I asked him to stop calling me, that he should devote more time to his marriage and make it work. Maybe we were not just meant to be. But sometimes, I cannot just help but imagine what might have been, if it had been.
Funny enough, the pen I am using to put my thoughts down is a souvenir from his wedding bearing their names and I find myself unconsciously wishing it were my name on it. I moved on since, but I cannot just stop thinking what might have been, if it had been.

Disappointed

Finally got around to blogging again after a long time. Apart from the usual laziness , I was heartbroken.....now it is not what you think. Not by a guy, but by Amstel malt( AMBO).

I am sure you all know about the Amstel Box Office Reality Show(AMBO) which is taking place now in Lagos. It is a reality show where 10 young people are put under one roof for 23 days or is it 21 to discover the one who has that star quality to shine in Nollywood.

Now what did they do to break my heart that made me not to be able to post and has kept me down for such a long time? I entered for the show and all that but unfortunately, I was so not picked!!! I could not get over it quickly, even when the show started, I thought that by some stroke of luck they would discover they needed an extra person(wishes huh?)
Well, I actually thought that, but till now, nothing o! well, thank God I have gotten over the "heartbreak".

What's my point? Where one door closes, another one opens, there are many roads to the market, don't let your disappointment weigh you down, when one thing or a person disappoints you, move on, there are better opportunities to grab than sit and regret or lay blames at peoples' doorsteps. For every disappointment you get, there are 5 fresh opportunities waiting to be explored.

Cheers!!!!! Merry Christmas in advance!!!

The Perfect Life(for a girl)

Many times in a girl's life,she daydreams of how perfect her life should be.We daydream about many things,some are feasible, while others are almost always impossible.

It is not a crime to daydream,if anything, it is healthy to do so,it helps you to put your mind and rest from the hustle and bustle of everyday life;it gives you a sense of false security from the harsh realities of life. Now what are those things a girl normally dreams about?
-that she were Miss World

-that she would have the perfect wedding

-the perfect man who would always buy her flowers,jewelry,take her out for candlelit dinners,ay the right words,bring her breakfast in bed,tell her "I love you" every minute, call her on phone whenever he is at work.

-live in a mansion that looks like paradise

-own the best cars

-have maids and stewards who will attend to her every whim and caprice.

-always look like a million bucks even after waking up from sleep.

-own a private jet

-have the best collection of designers' wears.

-be friends with those that matter

-have two adorable little daughters that she can dress all up in beautiful girly clothes.

-eating icecream and other "junkfood" without thinking of the extra weight.

All these and more are the things a normal girl dreams about.It is not bad to daydream,but you know all these things could be brought to reality.How? Hardwork. You want a rich,handsome man? Have in mind that that rich man also wants a lady who will not be a liability to him.No right thinking man will come to marry a secondary school certificate holder who is waiting for any available ready made man to latch her sorrows on.If anything,he will look for a woman that can rub minds with him,a woman that can hold an intelligent conversation( I tell you this is a rarity), a woman that can hold her own among his freinds and among others without feeling intimidated.
Ladies, it is time to stand and do what is right to get what you want.Everything in life carries a price tag. If you set high standards for others around you, make sure you also live upto those standards, even above. Nothing is impossible to those that dare. Dare to achieve, the sky is your starting point.